wake up call

wow. it's been a while since i've written on here! so been having a few insecurities lately and while i was driving home in silence, thinking and talking to God the song "Before the Morning" by Josh Wilson popped into my mind and the words that i instantly thought of were the lyrics:

Would you dare, would you dare to believe
That you still have a reason to sing?
Cause the pain that you've been feeling
Can't compare to the joy that's comin'

So hold on, you gotta wait for the light
Press on and just fight the good fight
Cause the pain that you've been feeling
Is just the dark before the morning

so that's what i thought of and it just hit me, i've been trusting in God for everything but i don't think i've been trusting Him to my fullest potential... No one has "dared" me to trust or believe in God, i've just grown up with that. i have a reason to sing, He has provided for me in all things! in High School when i needed money for gas, He gave me a babysitting job twice a week that would pay for my gas for that week. right now, i have a babysitting job that is going to pay for my textbooks for this semester. He's provided 2 new jobs for me that i never dreamed would happened. i have plenty of reasons to sing!! so why do i get nervous and have doubts for the future? i know that He will provide for me and He'll show me the way. i guess the doubts and fears and personal pain i feel now from multiple things is really the "joy that's coming" or the "dark before the morning" and i really need to press on!! keep living my life according to God's will and constantly seeking it by reading and praying (which i am determined to do better at).

"Fight the good fight" there are two verses in Timothy that have that phrase: I Timothy 6:12 ""Fight the good fight of faith, lay hold on eternal life, whereunto thou art also called, and hast professed a good profession before many witnesses." and in II Timothy 4:7 "I have fought a good fight. I have finished my course, I have kept the faith." the II Tim has a special place in a lot of people's hearts because it was the verse that is associated with BJ. that was his verse. :) but it's a great verse in it's self! we need to fight the good fight and finish our course with the finish line being in heaven! that is our destination end! we don't stop until the GPS for life has said, "You have reach your destination!" and we are standing at the pearly gates. What a day that will be! When my Jesus i shall see.


i just need to keep on keeping on! i've given that advice, but i think it's about time i took some of my own advice. Everything is in God's hands, and that's where i intend to keep it. if i try to take it out i want God to slap my hand and say, "NO!! this is my job!! just sit down and stop being a backseat driver!!" it's my life but it's in God's very capable hands. Forever and for always, Amen.

i am so thankful that i heard that song in my heard and that God placed it there because He knows that i respond well to songs and to singing. lyrics touch my heart and i'm so glad they do!

Because the pain that i'm feeling? is just the dark before the morning.

first day of finals and whatever else comes to mind

welllllllllllll....today is the first day of finals and i didn't have any, but i did have presentation that i was to give at 10am. my 8 o'clock class didn't have a final so i set my alarm for 9am to wake up and get to school on time. well, the alarm goes off, and my brain says, "9? why is it going off at 9? i don't have to be at school till 11?" so i changed my alarm to 9:30 and went back to sleep. so i get up again, and get ready for school, eat some leftover pancakes from the night before, and all those normal morning routines. driving to school and the whole time i'm thinking "what am i missing? i have my presentation stuff and i don't need anything else?...." so my mind kept going back to that thought the entire drive to school, and i'm countering this thought by saying "i'm not late, class starts at 11. i'm fine." so i pull into ICC drive, glance at the clock one last time, and my heart (finally) drops. i moan outloud, "i AM late!!!!!" i don't know why it didn't hit me early in my drive but it did then for some odd reason. so i hurray the rest of the way into school and i'm going down the hallway almost to the classroom when i see some of my classmates comeing towards me. leaving. one of the guys yells out, "hey! your late" .......no, duh sherlock. by this time, i'm trying to figure out what i'm going to tell Eli (my teacher). well i never did figure it out. i pretty much just told her what happened...i walked in and i have never been more embarresment in my life. (may have been an exaggeration but you get my point) but it's an excellent thing that Eli is amazing and laid back and understanding cause i still got to give my presentation (which was a grand total of 3 mins) and i'm banking on losing some points but i can handle that. i've missed only one day of class and i've never been tardy, so maybe my good record will sustain me. so, what could have been a total break down to someone else turns into a "oh well, lets see what happens" for me.
i have 3 finals tomorrow... haven't studied much. alright. i have solid A's in all 3 of those classes, so if i don't do so hot, i won't fail. that's a good thing right?

whattttt elseeeee....i haven't written in awhile so your thinking that i should just have loads to say!!!! ......
OH!!! school's almost over. :) which means, Christmas!!!!!! (psh, how could i have forgotten that?) i haven't done any shopping. correction. much shopping for anyone, i have 2 items for 2 different people. i have a rule that states this: "Whittney Linn Stickling should (key word) not start Christmas shopping until finals are over....money in the bank helps as well" that's a good rule i think. and so far it's working. ....confession, i have no idea what to get anyone for Christmas...that's a problem. Leah (my sister) calls after her black friday extraveganza and says "i have you present!!! and it's the best one so far!" it usually is. and then she sends me a picture of it all wrapped up! it's HUGE!! i. can't. wait. :) i need to make a list of people to get gifts for..... oh and i should clean the house.
OH!! speaking of cleaning the house, what to hear a gross-disgusting-make-you -cringe-and then-you'll-never-want-to-clean-the-bathroom-sink-drain-again story???? of course you do. all of you clean freaks, don't read this. ----so i was brushing my teeth and washing my face last night before bed and i turned the water on so it would warm up. well 20 seconds later, the sink is full of water and about to overflow. so i'm like great, the sink is clogged. so i look under the sink for the thing that you stick down the drain, twist, then pull back up. so i stick it in the drain and it stops right after i put it in. so i'm thinking that the pip turns and it can't go anywhere else. so, i twist it. and it hooks onto something...(disclaimer: the next segment is grosser then gross. read only if you are able)...so up comes a wad of hair that is 2 ft long (NOT an exaggeration) it's slimpy, it's dark, it's matted, it has white clumps of something that i don't care to know of. it was like pulling a wig out of a paper towel tube. i have never seen anything more disturbing come out of a drain then last night's incindent. uhhhhhhggggggg.....after that was up and out of the way, the water drained mighty quite. it make the gurgling sound too. i bet it was glad to have that up out of it's thoat!! it's probably felt like it was choking on a RAT! that's what i was afraid i was going to see when i was pulling that thing up. a dead mouse strangled in the midst of that hair. then i would have screamed loud and long!

well. i'm sure you are all dying!! to go into the bathroom and clean your drains now! go go go! have fun! send me a picture!

dream again

i just remembered a dream that i had last night or the night before. i was in the coral reef. but the coral reef was about the water, and it was dying and it was a terrible thing! and i'm afraid that's all i remember. sorry for wasting your time. :) tori doesn't sleep well. she sleep walks which means she doesn't go down and under fully like everyone else. (i knew something was wrong with her! jk :) ) the doctor and mom agreed that it was from the night terrors she would have as a baby. she would be asleep and then just wake up screaming! sounds pretty terrifying to me!!
here mom, this applies to you: "Flying dreams fall under the category of dreams called Lucid dreams. Lucid dreams occur when you become aware that you are dreaming. Many dreamers describe the ability to fly as an exhilerating, joyful, and liberating experience." well duh! mom, isn't this ironic? you are afraid of heights but you fly while in your dreams. interesting.... "another way to interpret flying dreams is that these dreams symbolize your strong mind and will.
the dreams that your being chased in symbolize that in your "walking life" this is how you respond things, you turn and run from them. the things chasing you in your dreams would be a person/attacker, animal, or a monster of some sort. tori, this applies to you. tori is often chased by tigers in her dreams. :) i wonder if its the same one, or if it changes? tori, this website that i'm getting this info from says that instead of running from this tiger, you need to stop, turn around, and confront this tiger and ask it why they are chasing you. if and when you do that, i hope you are still alive in your dream....personally i'm not going to stop and ask a potenial attacker why he is chasing me. dream or no dream! that's just ridiculous!
ok, i think that's all i have on dreams today. sleep tight! :)

dream

so last night was a weird night. i had this dream that involved so many people i know. one from my job at the nursing home and one from my job at Leaves 'n Beans. we were making a sandwich at LNB's kitchen. and. that's all i remember. i wish i could remember dreams better cause some of them are really good and are worth telling! and then there are some where i want to hit the "pause" button and then hit "play" when i go to bed the next night. :) i dream in color. i just realized that. dreams are very neat things. that new movie "inception"? is that what's its called? looked interesting cause it involves dreams and hijacking them. it's a weird/creeping/cool looking film.
i slept in today and it felt great. i wish to sleep some more thanks very much.

pillow

so with nothing better to do besides writing up survey questions for my group speech i decide to write a new post on this blog.

today in my multi media class i was recording my voice narration for my project, and i had to say the word "pillow" multiple times. well, after you hear and say it 50 times it starts to sounds pretty foreign. and then the actual word looks wrong and not spelled right and it starts to drive you crazy! who even thought up the word pillow anyways? what a wierd word... anyways, well, that happened until i got over it.
and then! i had the giant headphones on over my ears and i went to delete an icon and the "buzzer" deal goes off telling you "no, you cant do that" and i literally jumped! uh! scared the living daylights out of me! and then i threw the icon away in the trash bin and the crumpled piece of paper sound blasted into my ears and i jumped again! oh goodness it was terrible....i was silently laughing to myself in the little room. :)

i guess that's all....

sniffles

sniffles. they are so very annoying and rude. rude on my side and know for sure they are rude and disturbing on the other side! but everyone has them at one point or another so deal with it. i don't like being sick. ok, well, let me rephrase that: i don't like being sick when i know that i will have to make something up. like in school. in high school i loved being sick! but, unfortunatly, i never was sick. ever. so now, i'm in college and i have a cold and a cough and runny nose and i'm tired and i want to go back to bed..... :) oh and a headache. me and few friends decided that complaining is not a good thing, but it can be a fun thing. lol it's not something we should make a habit out of but every now and then i think its ok to let it out.

so yesterday i fell down the basement stairs. that was not fun. and today i have a bruised tail-bone, but my elbow is feeling better! yesterday it was hurting real bad. one of the more painful trips (literally!) down the stairs.

dazzed......i think i'm going to leave next class early and see if i can go home and maybe get a quick nap in before work....and if that doesn't work, stop at a coffee shop and get some caffeine.

reality.

what we would do without reality. it keeps us on our toes. just today i had a plan of what i was going to do with my afternoon off since i didn't have to work. then i get a voicemail from THE boss saying that i'm on the schedule to work (when i wasn't when it was put out) and that if i could get here asap that would be great (of course it would be...). I guess God didn't want me at home for that long of time today. so until then i sit at work trying to think of way to "fix" something that won't be fixed easily or quickly. like everything else, things take time. good thing God gives the time we need to get what HE needs done, done! so, i'll wait. wait, for my shift to end, wait for the night to end and the next day to begin. waiting waiting waiting. it seems like we do an awful lot of waiting in our lifetime. seems wasteful but i don't know what else we would do in the mean time! imagine all the things we could do if we didn't have to sleep! we would get so much done! random tid-bit of useless information: "The record for the longest period without sleep is 18 days 21 hours and 40 minutes during a rocking chair marathon. (...wait, WHAT??) The record holder reported hallucinations, paranoia, blurred vision, slurred speech and memory and concentration laspes." i'm sure that's not the only thing he/she lost... why, any person would compete in a rocking chair marathon is beyond me. how does that even work? trying to imagine it in my head and it looks ridiculous! now THAT is a waste of time. another piece of useless information: "A new baby typically results in 400-750 hours lost sleep for parents in the first year." ....sorry mom. so while i'm waiting for my life to take off, i think i'll sit back and put my feet up for the time being. there will be plenty of time in the future to lose sleep over an art project or test, a new baby or even (please God, no) a rocking chair marathon. no need to get worked up over nothing. no need to worry. to worry is to lack in faith. that's what i say, and i just made it up and i like it. I will trust in the Lord my God. there is not much else that is needed to be done in that area. that is His area of expertise so i'll leave it to The Professional.